How I Help
I CAN HELP YOU LIVE THE LIFE YOU WANT, AND HAVE BETTER RELATIONSHIPS IN THE PROCESS!
An important part of deciding whether I am the right fit for you is to understand how I help others. On this page, you can read about the kind of results my clients have reported and I’ll also give you a sense of my guiding beliefs and values and how I am different from most psychologists. Regardless of the type of change you desire in your life, in your relationships or within your self, I can help.
RESULTS YOU CAN EXPECT WHEN WORKING WITH ME:
... Resolve and overcome the difficult emotions that are preventing you from having fulfilling and meaningful relationships with others and with your self. Most of the time, we will hold on to the past and allow it to dictate our future. When you become aware and understand how this unfolds in your interactions with others, you can then take the necessary steps to heal the wounds, reclaim your life and become a better you.
... Stop mistreating your self and those around you. The way you treat your self dictates how others will treat you. By changing the opinion you have of your self, including how you see your self physically, emotionally, psychologically and behaviourally; and by becoming more outspoken and assertive, you will improve your self-esteem and self-confidence.
... Reconnect with your self and with the world, and rediscover who you are. Different events, even everyday life, force us to adapt and change not just how we act but who we are. Sometimes these changes can be good, but sometimes they lead us to become someone that we dislike. By becoming more aware of where this happens in your life and why, and by reclaiming control over your life and self, you will become the person that you want to be; a person that you love and appreciate.
... Be more trusting of others and your self. Trust is one of the most important elements in any relationship; including the relationship you have with your self. By understanding and working through the events that have caused you to close up emotionally and become mistrusting, you will overcome the fears that are keeping you from being fully present and engaged in your interactions with others.
... Learn to establish and maintain healthy boundaries, and put your self first without belittlement and guilt. You are no good to others if you don’t take care of your self; easier said than done, right? It doesn’t have to be. The boundaries and limits that you set, teach others how you like to be treated. If you make them clear and remain consistent within them; you will be treated with the respect and admiration you deserve.
... Achieve emotional well-being. No more highs or lows. You will learn how to stabilize and control your feelings, thoughts and behaviours, and live a more “emotionally stable” life.
GUIDING BELIEFS AND VALUES
Awareness and understanding. Knowledge is power. In psychotherapy, this means becoming more aware and understanding of the roots and causes of our struggles, and exploring how these struggles unfold and influence our way of feeling, thinking and acting. It’s also about becoming more attuned and connected to our inner self; the part of us that guides us but that we have ignored or silenced. I can help and guide you to uncover and connect this part of yourself.
Elimination and stabilization. Change requires stability; and stability requires the elimination of what is causing the instability. This means shedding the negativity and the self-destructive patterns that exist in one’s life, no matter where they come from. This also means creating and maintaining safe and healthy boundaries with others and with our selves. I can help you achieve these.
Ownership and acceptance. Accepting that we are responsible for our experiences can be scary but it can also be very empowering. In psychotherapy, this means facing all the ways in which we have and continue to contribute to our struggles, and accept them as being harmful and sometimes even destructive. Once accomplished, the individual is freer to experience life in a more meaningful way.
Healing and growth. Time doesn’t have to stand still even if it feels as though it is. To move forward in our lives and find fulfillment we must heal the wounds that cause us pain (regardless of where they came from) and strive to redefine who we are. This isn’t just about having a better understanding of ourselves; it’s about communicating our true selves to the outside world; something you can accomplish when working with me.
Meaning and fulfillment. We all strive for happiness in our life because we believe it to be essential; which is fine, as long as we don’t see happiness as an end in itself. Happiness comes from living a life of meaning and fulfillment. Just think...what if you could wake up every day and look forward to your life, instead of dreading it? What if you could end each day feeling satisfied with your accomplishments and yourself? I can help you change your life in a meaningful and lasting way so that you may find true happiness.
I tailor my approach to your specific needs. I am cognizant of the fact that each person’s struggles are different, even though they may sound the same. We each have our own way of understanding, perceiving and behaving, which will affect how and why we struggle. I therefore adjust psychotherapy to suit your individual needs and goals, to ensure the best possible outcome.
I work collaboratively with you. I’m not here to be like everyone else in your life. I’m not here to tell you what to do or how to do it. I won’t give you advice or tell you how to live your life. If I did, I would be no different from your friends or family. After all, if speaking to your friends or family was helpful, you wouldn’t need the help that you are seeking. Instead, I believe that you are the expert in your life and my role is to help you find a better way of relating to those around you and to your self, so that you may live a happier and more fulfilling life.
I use an honest and transparent approach, and when needed, will challenge you and ask you the questions that most won’t. This means asking you to go deeper into your thoughts, feelings and behaviours; and confront the painful experiences that are keeping you stuck. To put simply, there is very little I won’t ask about because I strongly believe that it is often in the details that we find the answers.
I will challenge you, but I will also take care to create a welcoming and caring environment; free from judgement and prejudice. This means allowing you to be you; free from any disguises or lies. You deserve to feel safe, understood and respected; and I will reinforce that every step of the way. After all, without these elements, you would hold yourself back and therapy wouldn’t be effective.
WHAT MAKES ME DIFFERENT
There are many qualified psychologists and psychotherapists in the Greater Montreal area, who have many years of experience or possess the necessary skills to help you. However, it’s important that you understand that I differ from them in two very specific ways. First, my approach in understanding and treating relationships is different, and second, my ability to discern which elements of your story are essential and how they fit in the context of your struggles allow for better results.
Couples or family therapy are not necessarily always the only and/or right solution. In many cases the problems that appear in our way of relating to one another stem from our own individual struggles. When trying to better our relationships, we must therefore start by working on ourselves. This means confronting our past and our present way of being and living, in order to solidify our chances for a better future...few therapists work this way.
A meaningful and fulfilling relationship with your self, will not only empower you to have better interpersonal relationships but also a better life. In therapy, this translates going beyond just thought and behavioural alterations; to a more profound transformation that alters your emotional and spiritual self. This change will be lasting and inspire you to seek out better choices in life...something that few therapists do.
I have the ability to discern which elements of your story are essential and how they fit in the context of your struggles. It can be confusing and overwhelming for anyone to make sense of why they are struggling or where they’re stuck. And yet it all starts with what a therapist pays attention to. My focus goes beyond a person’s way of thinking and behaving, I explore the deeper reasons for an individual’s struggles which allows for a more comprehensive understanding. Once accomplished, I will then move you to transform those experiences into healing ones, and empower you to move forward in a better direction.
You now get to decide. Are you finally ready to have more meaningful and fulfilling relationships? It won’t be easy and you will probably want to give up, but you will get the results that you want and so much more. After all, isn’t that what you deserve?
Now that you have a better idea about the results you can expect when working with me, and the underlying framework, guiding principles and approach I use, I encourage you to visit the services page to learn about the specific services you can expect to receive.